Do you need divorce help?

Divorce is a very complex procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Do you need divorce help? My best advice is to speak with a lawyer immediately – even if you think it will be amicable. Chances are at some point, things could get nasty. You must protect what is rightfully yours. In addition, I have known several people to just walk away from their marriage and their entitlements because they just wanted to get out. It did not take long for them to realize this was a big mistake. Divorce has such a massive impact on your financial position, you don’t want those decisions affecting the rest of your life, or any future relationship you may have.

You are going to need your own money for a divorce. You will have to be able to maintain yourself and your children for a while if you are dependent on your spouse as your spouse may decide to cut off support suddenly. You will also probably need funds to hire a lawyer. If there is any way to start a separate account to guard against future financial contingencies, now is the time to do it. If you have to borrow money from a relative or friend, be sure to sign a promissory note so the court will look at this as a loan that you have to repay and not as a gift.

Allow time to fully heal and reconnect with yourself before entering another relationship of any kind. The process of divorce is emotionally grueling. There is a lot to sift through and heal from. This is not the time to look to soothe oneself by entering another relationship. People make this mistake all the time. I personally went into a rebound relationship with someone who was sadder than I (like truly attracts like). It devastated me when it ended because I sought happiness and fulfillment outside of myself. This only leads to the same pattern to happen again. Learning this hard lesson pushed me forward and transformed me. I have a totally different mindset toward unconditional love and relationships now and I share this with my clients all the time.

This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, most courts won’t punish your spouse financially for being a bad person. Second, hiring an attorney to punish your spouse will cost you because your attorney will need to increase the number of hours spent on your case. Increased attorney hours means higher divorce costs, and higher divorce costs means there will be fewer assets and cash left for you and your family. Try to take the emotion out of your divorce, and treat your case as a business arrangement. The best revenge is to live well after the divorce is over.

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